Been a While...

Wow, it has been a while since I posted, but hey, that's what the Holidays will do! I just wanted to share a different project I've been working on - it's called Cre8 and Re-Cre8. It's a blog about making useful stuff and making stuff useful. Let me know what you think!

A Lesson and Hope in These Tough Times

"Somewhere along the way, we, as a society, got lost. We thought that having it all would lead to happiness. Truth is, having it all only erodes the value of having. It leaves you with less. Less satisfaction. Less understanding. Less meaning. And less joy." - Green Bean

I just read this quote over at The Green Phone Booth. It really struck a chord with me. I can see this so much in children. The more toys they have, the more they seem to destroy them and treat them poorly. they do not find value in their toys. They are not "special".

The more we have, the more we want. It becomes an unquenchable thirst for things. I remember growing up the wonder and excitement of going through the Sears Wish Book, daydreaming about the toys I might have and what I might do with them. But, it was the dreaming and fantasizing that was the great thing. It reminds me of another quote. This one is from the kids movie "Escape to Witch Mountian". The older sister (what's her name?) tells her brother: "If we have everything we could ever want, we would have nothing left to wish for." Okay, I'm paraphrasing here. That always stuck with me.

Having things comes with a price. You have to manage these things and worry about them. Things tie you down. You give up a little piece of freedom and a little piece of time with each possession.

Choosing to have fewer things this year and choosing to buy more food locally and make more food from scratch has truly been a wonderful experience for us as a family and for me in particular. I appreciate my raspberry much more knowing that I can have it fresh only within a certain season. I appreciate my basil spice, fresh from my own garden. I am more sensitive to where these things come from and the cost to the society to create them.

Lord knows, I have so much further to go. By most standards, I don't live simply. It is only in comparison with the way I used to live. But with the little steps I have taken, with each thing I let go of, the more full my life feels.

Wedding Advice

This is some wedding advice that I recently sent to a dear friend...

• Enjoy the Process. You only get to do this once. You will always remember it. Allow yourself the time to linger through bridal shops, taste cakes, and smell the flowers. Knowing you, time is your most precious commodity. When you are setting your budget, make sure to budget yourself time; time that you can spend without feeling like you should be working on lesson plans or research or cleaning or working out.
  


• You will not be able to please everyone. Especially your mother. Regardless of what you do, some people are going to be unhappy. Whether they don't look good in the "green" which was your color of choice for bridesmaid dresses, or they find it inconvenient to travel to the cape for a weekend, or they don't agree with your menu - people are going to diapprove of some of your choices for the wedding. This will be especially true for your mother - for any mother. It is inevitable. Expect it. Accept it. Find a way to cope with it and not let it get you down.


• No matter what you choose, your bridesmaids will probably not wear the dress a second time. Everyone I know tries to find something pracitcal that "people will be able to use again". Maybe that happens once in a blue moon for one of the bridesmaids, but I haven't seen it yet. I would just focus on finding something you like that will look good in your pictures!
  


• Remember it is just a wedding, your marriage is more important. Planning a wedding is so much work and it is such a big day, but you have to keep it in perspective. Regardless if you stain your dress, or the food is bad, or the weather is terrible - you will still be married that day, and that is the important thing.
  


• Find a good photographer and find them early. In the end, this is what you will have to remember the wedding. You will hand these pictures down to your kids. Think about what's important to you: do I want lots of portraits? lots of candids? something artsy? do I want to spend lots of time posing? is it important that the photographer is not intrusive? do I want digital format to keep? black and white? etc. Good photographers always get booked far in advance.
  


• Practice your hair in advance. Your hair will be in all those pictures forever. On the day of your wedding, you won't have time to make lots of changes. Try out your hairstyle in advance so you know you will like it.


• Set a realistic budget for yourself and then don't feel guilty about the money you spend. Benchmark what other people "actually" spent. Give yourself a realistic budget and then grant yourself permission to spend that money without guilt.
  


• Find some way to include your fiancee's parents in the process. I think this is one of the hardest things. There are so many things you want to do a particular way and then so many more demands on you from friends and family. Remember that you are becoming part of these people's family and that this event sets the stage in a lot of ways for how you will relate. Find out what is important to them and try to carve out a way for them to be involved that fits within your boundaries. Depending on their expectations, it can be a pretty tricky line to find, but it is important because they will not forget if they feel snubbed.
  


• If you have expectations for other people, let them know. Don't assume that your bridesmaids will know that you didn't want a bachelorette party at strip clubs, but instead wanted a quiet weekend retreat. If you have something specific in mind, let people know. If you end up disappointed, nobody is going to feel good about the situation.


• Write down a schedule for the "wedding weekend" and share it with all participants. Everybody will be happier knowing what to expect. It also gives you a reality check on your time line.