Wedding Advice

This is some wedding advice that I recently sent to a dear friend...

• Enjoy the Process. You only get to do this once. You will always remember it. Allow yourself the time to linger through bridal shops, taste cakes, and smell the flowers. Knowing you, time is your most precious commodity. When you are setting your budget, make sure to budget yourself time; time that you can spend without feeling like you should be working on lesson plans or research or cleaning or working out.
  


• You will not be able to please everyone. Especially your mother. Regardless of what you do, some people are going to be unhappy. Whether they don't look good in the "green" which was your color of choice for bridesmaid dresses, or they find it inconvenient to travel to the cape for a weekend, or they don't agree with your menu - people are going to diapprove of some of your choices for the wedding. This will be especially true for your mother - for any mother. It is inevitable. Expect it. Accept it. Find a way to cope with it and not let it get you down.


• No matter what you choose, your bridesmaids will probably not wear the dress a second time. Everyone I know tries to find something pracitcal that "people will be able to use again". Maybe that happens once in a blue moon for one of the bridesmaids, but I haven't seen it yet. I would just focus on finding something you like that will look good in your pictures!
  


• Remember it is just a wedding, your marriage is more important. Planning a wedding is so much work and it is such a big day, but you have to keep it in perspective. Regardless if you stain your dress, or the food is bad, or the weather is terrible - you will still be married that day, and that is the important thing.
  


• Find a good photographer and find them early. In the end, this is what you will have to remember the wedding. You will hand these pictures down to your kids. Think about what's important to you: do I want lots of portraits? lots of candids? something artsy? do I want to spend lots of time posing? is it important that the photographer is not intrusive? do I want digital format to keep? black and white? etc. Good photographers always get booked far in advance.
  


• Practice your hair in advance. Your hair will be in all those pictures forever. On the day of your wedding, you won't have time to make lots of changes. Try out your hairstyle in advance so you know you will like it.


• Set a realistic budget for yourself and then don't feel guilty about the money you spend. Benchmark what other people "actually" spent. Give yourself a realistic budget and then grant yourself permission to spend that money without guilt.
  


• Find some way to include your fiancee's parents in the process. I think this is one of the hardest things. There are so many things you want to do a particular way and then so many more demands on you from friends and family. Remember that you are becoming part of these people's family and that this event sets the stage in a lot of ways for how you will relate. Find out what is important to them and try to carve out a way for them to be involved that fits within your boundaries. Depending on their expectations, it can be a pretty tricky line to find, but it is important because they will not forget if they feel snubbed.
  


• If you have expectations for other people, let them know. Don't assume that your bridesmaids will know that you didn't want a bachelorette party at strip clubs, but instead wanted a quiet weekend retreat. If you have something specific in mind, let people know. If you end up disappointed, nobody is going to feel good about the situation.


• Write down a schedule for the "wedding weekend" and share it with all participants. Everybody will be happier knowing what to expect. It also gives you a reality check on your time line.
  

My Goals for This Blog

Even though I mostly just started this blog because my sister had one, my type-A personality leads me to document my goals and objectives. I even feel compelled to make a bulleted list! I think I will try and write about any areas where I think I have something to add to the blogosphere

• music,
  
• geeky software stuff,
  
• raising three boys,
  
• politics,
• making jewelry and crafts
  

... what have I left out?

My goal is to say something interesting with a little bit of humor. I would like to share a different perspective on the world in general...make myself think...challenge myself to present my ideas without pretention and arrogance, or, when I am in a lighter mood, just write about meaningless fun things like how to make whipped candles.

Just Getting Started

I think I know so much. I guess it is time to start sharing it with the rest of you.